Artie Isaac

Thanks, Boss

Dear Boss,

What a great company retreat. Thanks for lunch, dinner and lunch again. Thanks for the learning.

And thanks placing me in a pond of brilliant fish.

Here's what I didn't have time to say...

I sold my first company a couple years ago.

Now I've started another one.

Which means I'm working on the side for you.

And I know a little about your entrepreneurial life.

I've been there.
Whenever I'm the owner of a business, I bear the ultimate concern over:

• cash flow and the cost of capital.
• the embarrassment that might result from the potential fall of the house of cards.
• the performance and competence of my team.
• my team's trustworthiness with my beloved clients and our hard-developed intellectual property.

I know what you know: that employees will never understand the entrepreneur's fear.

I understand.
Even more, I know that you might get filthy rich because you might sell your company in five years for a gazrillion dollars. I want you to know that I encourage that potential outcome. I hereby give you permission to become filthy rich on my back.

You are risking your net worth on your company. I am not risking my net worth on your company.

I don't want your job, even if the upside is a gazrillion dollars.

So go for it. I'll help.
Call me anytime. Ask me to do anything. If I can't, I'll tell you. But don't ever hesitate to call me because you wonder if my time is too precious.

To the contrary: to spend time with you is why I'm working for you. That's the reason, boss.

So far, so very delicious. I'd delighted with the experience. I'm fully compensated.

And I'm willing to do more for less.

Multi-Living

Two Septembers ago, the kids went back to school and I found myself feeling a little glum.

I had sold my company in April and summer home with the kids was great.

Then, with them going back to school, I knew, "It's time to get a job."

Glum-de-dum-dum.

"Don't Get A Job."
"You've had a job all these years," said my beloved Alisa ("uh-LEE-sa"). "Now, I've just taken a job and it offers health insurance. So, don't get a job. Just have a lot of projects. That's what you like to do anyway."

Oh, how I love Alisa. She knows me.

Mrs. Isaac met me in business school when she was Miss Cox. She first saw me in the Follies, the semester-ending song-and-dance review. (She'd bought a ticket, so I figured she was entitled to all the entertainment she could stand. That's the Follies Customer Service Pledge.)

Miss Cox quickly learned that — while our more industrious classmates, like Miss Cox, were at Columbia to study Debt Markets and Net Present Value Theory and Operations Research — I was there primarily for the Follies.

I figured: I have an entire lifetime to massage spreadsheets (that sounds saucier than I meant), but I have only a few chances to wear tights on stage. I got my MBA so I could be in the Follies.

(And while I was getting my MBA, I also picked up my Mrs.)

"So Just Have a Lot of Projects."
How I love this woman. She knows me.

I've always been more devoted to the extracurricular than to the curricular.

Sure, when our kids show signs of Being Too Extracurricular, they're grounded. But me? It turns out to be exactly the philosophy that keeps me grounded.

Which Reminds Me To Tell You About My Balls
So, now 18 months after I jettisoned my full-time job, I find that I have a lot of part-time jobs.

It feels like I am juggling a bunch of balls. Here are my balls (in alphabetical order):

• Actor (and writer) at Available Light
• Creativity Counsel at Young Isaac
• Entrepreneur at SpeakerSite
• Improvisational Theatre Corporate Trainer at Improvedge
• Leadership Coach at Integrated Leadership Systems
• Marketing Consultant also at Young Isaac
• Professional Speaker to any audience that will sit still (and pay my reasonable fee)
  
• Teacher at The Ohio State University Fisher College of Business, Columbus College of Art & Design, and various other classrooms
• Volunteer at Haven Of Hope Cancer Foundation, Jewish Family Services, and Available Light
• Writer-in-Residence here at Net Cotton Content

So what's the problem?

The Problem With Having Too Many Balls
First, it's hard to answer the familiar question, "So what do you do for a living?"

Months ago, I would offer a long story. But people walked away in the middle.

Now, I let the other person go first. Then, I can usually offer the short answer that might be most interesting in that person's context.

Otherwise, I just say, "I write and teach and I'm a serial entrepreneur." And then I answer questions.

But there's a more existential question.
I'm focused on the juggler's cascade. And I notice my balls are getting progressively heavier.

They turned from Styrofoam to wood. Then to bean bags. Now metal. And some are starting to take on a golden hue.

Shouldn't a grown-up focus on the golden balls? Isn't there a danger of juggling too many balls at once?

Decisions Must Be Made
A grown-up would do some sort of analysis.

So I did that. As you can see (click to enlarge), I rated my balls against certain criteria.

Then I thought of an old story about Peter Drucker, taught to me through Jorge Lopez. Dr. Drucker said, "When I approached a conventional age of retirement, my wife and I recognized that we had a choice: slow down or speed up. We sped up."

More Balls, Please.
Like the Drucker Speed Machine, I face a similar choice: become less extracurricular or more extracurricular.

I've decided: I'm going to become more extracurricular.

The risk of becoming more extracurricular is a lack of focus. But the risk of becoming less extracurricular is also real: missing the opportunity to experience other adventures.

So, just this morning, in the spirit of George Plimpton, I applied for a job in a deli. I've always wanted to work in a deli. I refuse to accept that I lost my chance, just because I reached this age or this exalted level of professional status. ("Exalted"? Give me a break. I'm only 50 and I'm a freelancer).

After all, it's now or never.

And I'm having a ball.

Bucket of Anger

We each carry a Bucket of Anger.

That's not so bad, really. It's just the way life is. Sure, it would be nice to not have a Bucket of Anger, but we each have one.

What's important is how full it is.
An Empty Bucket would be great. More on that, later.

It's the Full Bucket that's a problem. Because, when one little thing falls into it — even just a few drops of fresh anger — there is nowhere for that anger to go.

Something has to spill out. Anger spills out.

A Real-Life Example:

You are driving and some bozo cuts you off.

Arrghh. You become immediately angry.

And it is your sudden mission to chase him down and kill him.

Or, at least, to teach him a lesson.

Is that mature? No. Is it the reaction of a fully-formed adult? Nope. Could you find a better reaction? Yeah, probably — sure.

But there isn't time.

Because that new water has to flow somewhere. Right away. It spills out — all over your life.

Drain That Bucket — At Least Half Way.
Now, imagine the same bucket, but only half-full. Or half-empty. Or half-whatever.

When some new anger drops into the bucket, it has somewhere to go. Where it can be held. So you can drink it in. Or it can evaporate. Later.

A New, Improved Real-Life Example:

Now you are driving and some bozo cuts you off. (He's still a bozo.)

You have a moment to consider what just happened. You can think about it. And in the time you are thinking about it, you don't jump right to anger.

You think something like, "Huh. What a bozo. He's a bad driver. I hope he arrives at his destination safely. And if he doesn't, I hope he doesn't hurt anyone else."

And you drive normally, giving him proper ACDA (assured clear distance ahead), just as if he didn't cut you off.

Sounds better. Healthier. More grown-up.

How Do I Do It?
It's just about always a good time to reduce the level of the angry water in the bucket.

But how?

Process your anger. Look at your Full Bucket. Think about the beliefs that have made you angry. Like:

"I believe that motorists who cut me off must learn a lesson. Immediately. From me."

That is clearly a dysfunctional belief. It must be destroyed.

It can be assessed, destroyed, and replaced as you do the hard work of becoming more authentic.

Want To Read More On Anger?
Sure. Sounds like fun.

It is. Here's my favorite book on anger.

For Jews Only

Shalom, fellow MOTs.

In December, I performed in a new play called Amalgamated Consolidated's Annual XMAS Spectacular, featuring Winford Doke, CPA Artie Isaac.

Nu? How'd it go? It fell soundly between a Kiddush Hashem and a shanda fur die goyim.

We sold out a couple houses and it was a fun experience. Some said it was even a success.

Now, however, it's February. And that's the time that we all need to start preparing for Christmas. As do the retailers, so do the playwrights.

I Need Your Help.
But first, here's the background.

Sean Christopher Lewis, Matt Slaybaugh (a couple of nice Gentile boys) and I wrote this play to do a few things, as described toward the bottom of this post.

Now, we are rewriting the play. Because the first attempt was a theatrical first draft. Because there are structural problems we can correct. Because we saw, during rehearsal (when it's too late to keep revising), that there were many opportunities to improve the dramatic product.

But That's Not Where I Need Your Help.
Here's where I need your help.

A trusted and beloved friend said to me, "As an educated Jew, I think the play treats the subject too lightly. It's glib."

So I need to beef this up. With Kosher beef. That's where you come in. Because the other playwrights don't know bupkis about being Jewish. And I, apparently, only know enough to be glib. Jeez.

I need you to send me some stories about when Christmas or the December Dilemma created some very meaningful moment. Or just an important or useful insight you have about the whole year-end mishigas.

Whatever you send me, send it in 50 words or fewer. Don't send me all your baggage. I know you have issues. Just give me the high points. Share the full unpacking for your rabbi. (Rabbim get paid to care.)

If I use your story in the 5771 version of the play, I'll give you a special reward, like a free ticket. (But for that, you won't sue me for using your words.)

Hey! I already have new a tagline for the show.
As if a show with a long title needs a tagline. Anyway, here it is:

"A Christmas Tradition since 5770."

L'hitra'ot!

Half-Way Louise

A friend describes his wife. (He gave me permission to tell this tale.)

Let's call his wife "Louise." If we did that socially, it would be a faux pas, because that's not her real name.

And I hereby apologize to all men and women named "Louise."

Enough ethical tap-dancing. Back to the story: He loves his wife.

But She Does Something
That Somewhat Irks Him.
It's not a full irking. It's partial. Part irk, park endearment.

Here it is: She sometimes leaves things half finished.

Example: a Coke can, half full (or, if we were optimists, half empty, because less Coke in our lives is better).

Not a big deal, we all agree — even the husband — but, hey, why the half-a-Coke sitting around the house?

Louise answers, "Oh, I left that there on my way to thus-and-so." She's a busy person, so there's a lot of thus-and-so.

But why leave something unfinished?

Who knows?

But the husband — risking his very marriage — has taken to calling her "Half-Way Louise." (But he uses her real name. Take it from me: if you ever call your wife "Louise," and that's not her name — you are in Big Trouble, mister.)

Half-Way Louise.
Are you ever Half-Way Louise?

I know that I laugh when I leave something unfinished.

I think, "C'mon, Half-Way Artie. Be done with it."

Experts Review Super Bowl Advertising

If you're like most readers, when you think Net Cotton Content, you think:

Football!

No?

Well, neither do I. I don't ever think football. Not even when I think "football." (When I think "football," I think about lifelong player injuries and misplaced fan energy.)

I Have A Terrible Super Bowl Attitude
And maybe that's why the Columbus Chapter of the American Marketing Association keeps inviting me back to moderate the annual panel on Super Bowl advertising.

It's big fun when we talk about the big advertising two days after the big game.

Very big.

Here's The Game Plan
First, the Super Bowl is played. I think it's Sunday. Two teams. Pageantry. Drama. Grrr.

I don't watch, because I am too anxious about potential injuries. And, frankly, I have better things to do. (Almost anything is a better thing.)  So, I will miss all the commercials. Dang.

Happily, on Monday, the AMA will tell me where on the Interwebs to look for the spots to be reviewed. For karma, I'll eat a brat, spill beer all over myself, and hit the web watching every spot twice.

Then, Tuesday, at lunchtime, I'll mis-guide a panel of experts on the subject. And you can be there. Here are the details.)

But Wait, That's Not All
Last year, I asked the organizers to let me bring a real expert: a soccer mom. The organizers said, "Yes." (But they were thinking, "Football.")

So I brought Debi Chakeres, the soccer mom who also runs Haven of Hope Cancer Foundation.

This year, I couldn't find a soccer mom. So I found a blogger mom.

And What Mother Of All Mothers
Could Be The Poster Mother
of Blogger Moms?
My own dear mom: Jackie Isaac.

I asked her and she said, "Yes" with so little reaction that it was like I'd said, "Hey, you want to go over to Billy Lee's and have a cocktail and an egg roll? You know, over at the bar?" (That usually earns a quick "yes.")

This might very well be a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to hear my mother talk about Super Bowl advertising.

Bring your psychologist.
This lunch might shed insight on how I got to be whatever I am.

On Authenticity

O.K. This is a lot.

But it's about authenticity. How to become authentic.

So, I think it's worth consideration.

*************

Here's a true story, without the details: Last night, I failed.

By the time I received the text message, it was already too late.

I blew it.

I was instantly thrown into emotional crisis.
With good reason.

During those moments, I felt: How could this have happened? How could I have failed so miserably? How could I have disappointed a friend? 

More generally, I felt: I just don't get it. Am I incompetent?

I felt very alone, disconnected from others. I was downgraded to defensive independence from communal interdependence.

Here's what I did to regain my equanimity.
I learned these methods from Steve Anderson. With a Ph.D. in behavioral psychology, Steve trains leaders. Several years ago, Steve was my coach.

Several months ago, he encouraged me to coach others. He taught me these models, from the coach's point of view.

So, I'm a coach. And, since you are reading, I'm starting with you.

Here we go. Watch me. I'll be your laboratory mouse.

Reaction Model
First, I must regain some balance. I must stop tripping over myself. This model helps:

1. Acknowledge what I am feeling.
2. Accept that my emotions are valid. It is not my goal to stifle my emotions, but rather to understand them.
3. Assess what is happening and make a plan. (See the next model below.) How can this moment be turned toward everyone's advantage?
4. Act on that plan. Prove that I have learned something (anything!) by adapting my behavior.

Though the steps are numbered, in practice the model isn't so linear. It's circular. Last night, I went through the model immediately, then — as my emotions returned to overwhelm me — I repeated it about six times during the next 30 minutes. Each time was slower and more thoughtful. I saw patterns which refined and confirmed my plan.

The third step is the most complex. How do I assess what is happening?

When I am again breathing normally, the following model is helpful with the assessment.

Emotional Intelligence
When I face moments of confusion, crisis, or fierce independence (rather than collaborative interdependence), I consider this model.

Click to see it larger:

The order (in the diagram) is in real time.
A: Stuff happens.
B: I perceive the event through my own lens, my own beliefs.
C: I feel good or bad, depending on how the event agrees with my beliefs.
D: My actions are supported or hindered by my emotions.

When I apply this model — during those delicious moments of emotional intelligence — my sequence is out of the real-time order:

C: Consequent Emotion.
What am I feeling? What is my emotion? Might be positive. Might be negative. What is it? Is my blood boiling? Do I feel rejected? Am I angry? Am I frustrated? Note these emotions. They are valid. They are not simply human frailties. They are very useful signals.

A: Activating Event.
Look upstream. Something happened that has led me to this moment of Sturm und Drang. What was that event? Specifically, objectively, what happened?

B: Belief System.
If this is a moment of negative emotions (C), here is the disconnect. I deeply believe something and the event contradicted that belief. What is that belief? Is that belief still valid?

"Some of our beliefs were valid when they were given to us. Like this one: Son, if you want to get something done right, do it yourself. That made sense at the time. It was well intentioned and functional. Now, three decades later, we find that we can't trust our colleagues, we can't delegate, we are independent to a fault. Why? This belief is no longer valid and must be destroyed and replaced."
— Steve Anderson

D: Dependent Behavior.
The test of whether I am living functionally and healthfully is right here. Is my behavior informed by positive emotions?

Is Change Possible?
After 40 years of clashing with the world, I have found that my beliefs are not so fixed and rigid. I have enormous ability to adapt my beliefs. And it isn't caving or compromise. It's rational and mature. It's part of being a (nearly) fully formed adult.

"The common trait of all authentic leaders is that they have an unusual ability to tolerate and learn from mistakes. To do this, they have learned to sit with pain and not panic."
— Steve Anderson

This takes practice.

I'm practicing right now.

A Mantra
Along the way, I remind myself of the wisdom of a mentor who — years ago — heard my description of my crisis du jour. He responded with a perspective that comes only with the long view of age:

"If I had known it wasn't going to kill me, I wouldn't have been so freaked out all the time."

Do you know someone?
If you know folks who are experienced enough to be ready for change — and energetic and determined enough to do the hard work change requires — then send them to me.

No sense in my trying to become a fully formed adult alone.

The coach is in.

The Demise of Polite Conversation?

Last month, I returned to the Columbus Metropolitan Club — this time to speak on The Demise of Polite Conversation: Is Communication on the Brink?

Here's the video of the talk, thanks to the talented, well equipped folks at The Ohio Channel.

Of all my presentations, this one — so far — defines who I am. (It is, for me, my ethical will.)

Once again, the CMC audience is the best in town.

Seeking Happiness

Another thought from my 10th grade geometry teacher.

You should have such a 10th grade geometry teacher.

John saw Jory Farr's new "culturewise" column in Columbus Monthly — "The Art of Being Artie Isaac"  — and offered another thought for my repertoire. This idea comes from another mathematician, Blaise Pascal:

All people seek happiness. This is without exception. Whatever different means they employ, they all tend to this end. The cause of some going to war, and of others avoiding it, is the same desire in both, attended with different views. They will never takes the least step but to this object. This is the motive of every action of every person, even those who hang themselves.

Is Happiness Enough?
Some might think this — the idea that we are merely happiness seekers — to be small. They complain that we are more altruistic, more noble.

I disagree. I find some comfort in the idea.

And I recognize my own hunger for happiness. It leads me toward both the noble and the ignoble.

Where's The Comfort In That?
There is much clarity. After all, once we know that we are seeking happiness, we have a vision for the future.

Which makes our mission clearer: we know what education to seek — and what to offer to the next generation. We would learn how to learn:

• What induces happiness?
• What Happiness Inducers are healthy for us and for our neighbors (over the fence and around the world)?
• How might we incent ourselves — more happiness, no doubt — to pick and pursue the Happiness Inducers that serve the greatest good?

I'm Happy.
And filled with gratitude for Jory Farr's article.

Friends have called to say that he really nailed it. Or me.

Indeed, he energetically and intelligently researched this one: calling several friends (Jonathan, Diane, Matt, Rob) first to ask them about me, then meeting me to ask me about what I'm doing. That order of interviews was peculiar, and peculiarly effective.

Thanks, Jory.

Let's Act

I wasn't kidding.

I was serious when I invited you to audition for this year's production of To Kill A Mockingbird.

That invitation is genuine and true. (And here it is, again.)

The auditions are this week.
Here are the details:

Audition for To Kill a Mockingbird dramatized by Christopher Sergel from the Pulitzer prize-winning 1960 novel by Harper Lee. Directed by Ian Short.

OPEN CALL: Friday, January 29, 7 p.m. - 9 p.m. (show-up anytime)
OPEN CALL: Saturday, January 30, 6 p.m. - 8 p.m. (show-up anytime)
CALLBACKS: Sunday, January 31, 2 p.m. - 5 p.m. (by invitation only)

Location: the Vern Riffe Center - Enter on State Street, go to the third floor and you'll be escorted to the audition room.

Performances June 24-27, 2010. Most rehearsals will be in the evening, Sundays-Thursdays, beginning in May.

This is an independent, community theatre production and a fundraiser for Available Light Theatre. Actors will not be paid.

REQUIRED: One monologue, two minutes or less, prepared material preferred; cold readings will be available for those who need them. Feel free to contact me. I can email you the "sides," so you can look them over in advance.

CALLBACKS: If you are called back, you will be notified by email by 11 a.m. on Sunday, January 31 and asked to attend a callback session from 2 p.m. to 5 p.m. that day.

For more info: avltheatre@gmail.com